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Knowing Your Frenemies?

Are you aware of your friends and frenemies relationships? Do you know when mutual friends of frenemies are betraying you? I enjoy watching British shows and just started watching a new series titled ‘Sticks and Stones.’ It is about a company downsizing and will get rid of one of four employees in Sales. Three coworkers get together and plan to bully Thomas, Sales Manager, into becoming unstable so he is fired and their jobs are secure.

In the meantime, one of the three coworkers befriend Thomas and earns his trust and inform him not to trust the other two because she alone is trying to keep him employed. Eventually, Thomas files a bullying claim against the two believing his friend, whom he shared personal information about his life, would confirm his claim in a meeting with Human Resources personnel and Sales Director.

However, she does not and Thomas suddenly appears to have a nervous breakdown and falls on the floor; then two of his coworkers and Human Resources personnel leave the office. His friend gives Sales Director her cell phone and he step outside to call Thomas’ wife. Thomas’ friend was left alone with him; but unbeknownst to her, he turns on his cell phone recorder realizing she was actually his frenemy after not confirming his bullying claim. She not only confirms Thomas’ belief but tells him she was the mastermind behind the plan to get rid of him.

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After Thomas’ wife picks him up, he texts Sales Director and frenemy entire recorded conversation of her admission and implicating coworkers. Sales Director replies to Thomas offering six figures to remain quiet and promises to fire his three bullies.  I am eagerly awaiting episode four. “Whoever digs a pit will fall into it; if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them. A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin.” (Proverbs 26-27)

What are frenemies? describes frenemies as a person in your life that you get along with and enjoy overall company but they will cut you down with virtually any opportunity with mostly backhanded compliments or jabs. They always root for you to do good but just not better than them. Normally stemmed from some jealousy to any or all aspects of your life (similar to a hater but get along with them).

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Christians, what about us? Are we friends or frenemies?

Have you ever been guilty of gossiping about a friend or listening to gossip without engaging in conversations? Does it make one innocent if listening without engaging? If you are a converted Christian have you set boundaries to lessen the taste of evil delicacies of frenemies? Romans 12:1-2 tells us to present our bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God and be not conformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of the mind to prove what is good and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

What are your thoughts on those supposedly transformed and renewed minds in Christ but are captivated by every defile word and action that come out of mouth of those who want nothing to do with God? But again, “Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of Heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in Heaven.” (Matthew 7:21).


Have you ever been guilty of inflicting someone with hurtful words or action? What poisonous or deadly flaming arrows carrying negative words can someone shoot in your direction that would cause you to dislike someone else?

Based on my online research when someone is bitten by a poisonous snake the venom enters the bloodstream and starts to eat and destroy body cells then eventually affects the heart while victim experiences excruciating pain. This also applies to victims suffering tremendously from our words while frenemies let loose and slither back into their hole leaving others discouraged, angry, hostile, sad, disappointed, depressed, or leave the church. This might sound harsh but it is true.

Proverbs 4:16 is true to the core that some people are robbed of sleep until they make another person stumble. In fact, they cannot rest until their evil deed to hurt another is done. Does this sound like anyone you know?

We should always be mindful there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What we say and do in darkness will become light because God is still taking notes (Matthew 7:13-14); and almost everyone has cell phones and other types of electronic recording devices.

But true friends do not care about electronic recording devices because they always lift us up when no one else even notices we are down. They do not gossip nor allow opinions of others to cause them to behave negatively towards another person, and definitely not caused them to be removed from the arms of Jesus.

unfollow the world

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt is a lie we did not understand as children. As adults, we know words hurt and could also be deadly.

Please share your thoughts on the following questions: what are some dangers of having mutual friends of frenemies? How do you avoid pitfalls of those doing Satan’s bidding?

How do you stop someone from coming to you with gossip? For me, I now tell gossipers do not tell me what someone else said about me but tell me why they feel comfortable telling you. Hmmm!

Few words speak volume. –Tangie T. Woods


Thank you Manaswi for nominating me for the Awesome Blogger Award. CLICK HERE TO VISIT MANASWI.

Another beautiful blogger nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. I appreciate her thoughtfulness as well.


Christian Blogger, minister's wife, mother of three adult children and grandmother of one granddaughter

79 thoughts on “Knowing Your Frenemies?

  1. I recently realised that someone I believed who was a very close friend of mine was actually a very toxic person and definitely much more of a frenemy than a friend. I have cut her out of my life and so have our mutual friends because she was awful to them as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. PoojaG, there comes a time when we must evaluate and remove certain people from our lives. Sometimes, people get close to harm. Toxic people definitely must be cut out of our lives. Thank you for sharing your personal experience.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Toxic indeed. Just like we flush toxics from our body we must flush toxic people from our life before we become just like them. “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” I Corinthians 15:33

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Great article! Gossip can sometimes be so subtle. You are right on that we ought to be very aware and ask God for His help to not fall into its trap. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting. Many scriptures tell us to put no trust in humans. We are susceptible to do anything depending on situations. Unfortunately, at least once in our lifetime we perhaps put more trust in people than in God. I did and was devastated by the other person’s action.


  3. Thank you for visiting my blog, Sister 🙂 Your post is excellent–I’ve definitely been guilty, and it’s a good reminder/warning. May God bless you abundantly ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I don’t know if I have any frenemies. I only have a small list of friends and I don’t socialize that much because most of my friends are not friends with each other. My sister won’t talk to me, does that count?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting. Referencing your sister does the description applies? If your sister does not speak with to you I do not believe the following definition applies: Frenemies is a person in your life that you get along with and enjoy overall company but they will cut you down with virtually any opportunity with mostly backhanded compliments or jabs. They always root for you to do good but just not better than them. Normally stemmed from some jealousy to any or all aspects of your life (similar to a hater but get along with them).

      Liked by 2 people

  5. This was such a very insightful post! I am a bit guilty of gossiping. There are times that I successfully ignore it and not engage in the conversations. But there are still times that I fail to do that, and that makes me angry about myself. 😅 I still have a lot to learn.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting. You admitting being guilty is step in right direction of recognizing it is wrong to take corrective measures to eliminate it from your life. We all have areas for improvement. Praying for you.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting. Sadly, distorting a perfectly honest story could be deadly and devastating leaving long-term negative effects in lives. I have learned to be very careful what I say, who I say it to and how I say it because some people hear you but are not listening for being too busy thinking about distorting your words in gossip.


  6. It is true that if someone comes talking about others to you, they are going to others talking about you. And I’ve learned to simply not listen to gossip. If it begins either walk off or simply state, “Let’s change the subject.”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I enjoyed the first three episodes and eagerly awaiting episode four. Anyone without frenemies is blessed. Thank you for reading and commenting. Sorry for the late reply, I just found your comment in Spam.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you for sharing this ma’am. This is real and that is why I am grateful we have the Holy Spirit to bring to light any coup.
    My reply to whoever comes up with such feedback is to tell them my side of the story and let them choose. Regardless, His light over me will prevail and that is what matters most to me.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Oh my. Mrs T. This is a beautiful piece. Having mutual friends with frenemies is very difficult especially those who come to tarnish another’s image. 😕
    We really have to be discerning. Thank you so much for this. Wow. Let me share with my contacts. ☺️👏🏾

    Liked by 2 people

  9. The best post of the day for me. Its absolutely true and perfect what we say may bounce back hundred folds. No one can be friends for ever. In fact i read it twice and for the first time i glance a wp post for second time since i knew WP. Its an alert and absolutely a reminder. Thank you.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Great post. First, I do believe with you that there are only those who you can share your heart with, who are a safe place. But those you can trust, are found only through time and GOD’S blessing. I am so blessed with two close and dear friends that have been with me now almost 30 years. We are blown away how GOD brought us together. And we are like family. What we say with one another stays there. I have been hurt by gossip, so I refuse to do it……I have left rooms where people are doing it and slammed the door. That did make a point……it was at work and the gossip stopped. We shouldn’t say anything about anyone unless we are willing to say it to their face…..and our words should always build one another up, rather than tearing and ripping one another apart! “Lord, let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be pleasing in YOUR sight.” PSALM 19:14
    I pray today that someone will read this, and stop and rethink what kind of words they are saying to those around them.

    Liked by 3 people

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